Love or infatuation?

I've made numerous mistakes in the past. Each relationship is so real but yet failed. I start to wonder whether the problem is with me or her or the blame WORLD..ehhe...I understand the fundamentals to love someone but yet my life doesn't reflect that because I portrayed myself as someone who does not give enough sense of security to a girl. I can't write down what happen 8 to 9 years ago in one posting but I am glad that God is always there for me and I thank Him because he showed me what went wrong and I have successfully tackled issues I've swept under the carpet. That was a superb feeling. As I'm trying to find out whether do I really understand what love is..I came across a quote: There is no failure where love is concerned. To be unsuccessful is not the same a failure. Our disappointment is more likely to provide an opportunity to learn and to grow. If we don’t risk loving, we will never fail in love. But much worse, we will also never experience its wonder. Those who try to do something and fail are infinitely better off than those who try to do nothing and succeed. We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn’t. Success often lies just the other side of failure. As long as we continue to seek love, some failure is bound to occur. But hurt is a strong impetus for action. When we seek to find the causes of our failures, we always emerge wiser. We gain new alternatives for our old behaviors and acquire new resources for future encounters. This is certainly not failure. Rather, it is the way that produces lasting change. It is the way of insight and growth. It is the way of love. Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows-one day at a time. Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream. Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you-to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him nearer. But near of far, you know he is yours and you can wait. Infatuation says, “We must get married right away. I can’t risk losing him.” Love says, “Be patient. Don’t panic. Plan your future with confidence.” Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you will admit it is difficult to be in one another’s company unless you are sure it will end in intimacy. Love is the maturity of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers. Infatuation lacks confidence. When he’s away, you wonder if he’s cheating. Sometimes you check. Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels that trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you’ll regret later but love never will. Love is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before.

Keep the passion of love alive

I was reading an article by Barbara De Angelis and I think what she said is true, just that most of us neglect it or rather take love for granted. Imagine that you’ve decided to build a fire, perhaps while you’re camping, or starting a fire for BBQ. You carefully choose the logs, the kindling, and after lighting a match to start the fire, you watch over it until you’re sure the fire is burning strongly and steadily. Then you sit back and enjoy the comforting warmth, the delightful play of the flames, the magical light. You don’t need to be as vigilant about keeping the fire blazing, since it has enough fuel for now. But at some point, when you notice it’s getting a little colder, or the light is growing dim, you realize that the fire needs your attention again. And so you rouse yourself from whatever you’ve been doing and add more wood, or adjust the position of the logs so that, once more, the flame can rise high. Even if you’ve neglected the fire for a while, even if it appears to have died out, you see that the embers still radiate a deep orange glow that can only be created by hours of extreme heat. The embers are deceptive, and they contain great power within their quiet light. Although by themselves they produce no flames, they can ignite a newly added piece of wood in seconds, suddenly rekindling the full force of the fire, transforming the formant coals into a roaring blaze. We can learn a lot about the passion between two lovers by thinking about what we intuitively know about building and maintaining a fire. When you first meet someone and fall in love, you carefully court and seduce him or her, adding the right amount of intimacy, the perfect amount of commitment until the fire of passion flares up between your heart and your bodies. For a while, this blaze burns brightly on its own and you grow accustomed to the joy it brings into your life. How lucky we are, you tell yourself, to have such a passionate relationship! But one day, you realize there is less light, less heat between you and your mate, and that, in fact, it’s been that way for some time. You don’t feel the same intense degree of physical attraction, the same desire to unite, and the same stimulation you once felt with each other. The passion is gone, you may conclude. I guess I’ve fallen out of love. This relationship is over. How many people ask themselves, at this critical point in a love affair, if the fire of passion has died down simply because no one has been tending it, because no one has added fuel necessary to keep it burning? How many people walk away from the smoking embers of their marriage, certain that the fire has died out, without noticing that the coals of love still contain enough heat to reignite into flames, if only they are given a chance? Respect the fire of passion, the fire of love. Understand that to stay alive; it needs to be honored, to be cared for, to be tended as diligently as you would tend a fire you had built in the wilderness to help keep you warm and safe from harm. Feed the fire of your love with kindness, communication, appreciation and gratitude, and it will always blaze strong and brightly for you.